There is someone in my head but it’s not me – or is it? 1448
I am at a wedding at a ranch for a salesman who worked for me. The wedding ends and a bunch of other salesmen I work with are sitting around on some picnic tables. I am supposed to be responsible for giving a presentation on a real estate project–like a new high-rise apartment building. (In real life, I sold computers, not real estate.) I do not know anything about the project and there was very little time to prepare for the presentation. The time that I did have seemed to vanish quickly, every time I looked at the clock more time had past than I thought should have – time was accelerated prior to the presentation. So, I decided I would just have to wing it.
As I go up to the podium and microphone suddenly there are hundreds of people gathering in stands that just appear to hear my presentation. I thought it was just going to be the guys I was sitting around with and I am a little shocked at the size of the crowd and grow very apprehensive.
The crowd expected me to know something substantial about the project. I started out just making some general comments like “these apartments are really nice ”. I had no idea of what to say and I am trying to think of stuff off of the cuff.
There was a heckler behind me, another salesmen who I shared mutual feelings of animosity and distrust. This heckler starts to give a speech as it should be given– he was obviously very knowledgeable about the topic. His speech made perfect sense and the heckler was quite articulate.
I am cognizant of the fact that the heckler is doing this to humiliate me and make a fool of me in front of this large audience. He is my enemy and there is no doubt about that.
But, I remain somewhat calm, trying to keep speaking myself and listening to him simultaneously, while trying to maintain some sort of eye contact with the audience. The audience cannot hear him, but are aware that there is a conflict taking place.
I realize I can use the information the heckler is providing to enhance my own speech. My speech begins to improve as I listen to the information the heckler is providing me about the real estate project and I am starting to get the audience back. The audience appears to know what I am doing and seemed to be amused at the way I was using the heckler.
The heckling salesman is so intent on ridiculing me he just goes on divulging the information I need. He doesn’t realize he is actually helping me in his effort to destroy me.
Dream Interpretation: The Tyrannical Persecutory Predator is behind Procrastination
The time I am given to prepare is inadequate, and what little time I do have seems to be squandered away – most likely by procrastination. Due to procrastination I have had to wing it on more than one occasion – many times pulling it off – but sometimes ending up with a disaster on my hands.
The heckler is actually portrayed by a salesman (in reality) with a competitive company whom I had a brush with after his company acquired one that I was with. Prior to this, I had beaten his company on a rather large deal. He was actually a vice president and I beat his salesman. I had closed the deal – had the contract signed with a deposit. Their company was a hundred times larger than the one I worked for. After the deal was closed, this vice president with two of their company’s top salesmen flew back to Philadelphia and unhooked my deal – meaning they had the buyer break the contract I had signed with them. This was illegal because of the size variance between our two companies. However, I flew back to Philadelphia from LA and re-closed the deal. This certain VP with a large-ego never forgave me – and made a point of revenge after his company took over the one I was with. It is a tough world out there.
The heckler is the tyrannical persecutory predator of my subconscious – that self-critical demon that tries to tear one down when one tries to make progress or put something together in their life. You cannot really come to terms with this shadow creature because of its tyrannical nature– one must just learn to overcome one’s shortcomings that this subconscious demon seems to incessantly harp on. When you begin to resolve these issues–the destructive force begins to lose its power. So by consciously trying to work on your shortcomings, i.e. procrastination – you lessen the power–and because this destructive force is so tyrannical– it will give you a detailed list of your character flaws–it will not stop to think that is giving up its own method of control – it banks on you not taking the matter up.
So, the next time you’re hit by your tyrannical predatory persecutor– listen into what points it is attacking you on –focus on one or two of your weaknesses – and begin to work on them. Use this dark force against itself. Then you are making a captive out of the captivity. This means that negative force that seems to control or limit your life can be used against itself and therefore you can learn to weaken it rather then have it control you. (See below for explanation)
In the dream I start to listen to the heckler and he provides me with the information that I need to make an adequate speech–or make a stand in life which the speech represents metaphorically. Due to a rather difficult start in life, I was not well prepared, confused most of the time and constantly procrastinated as the beginning of the dream portrays. I did not really understand what made people succeed in life, since my authority figure or guide was an alcoholic and somewhat confused himself. However, I did figure out how to become an alcoholic, but also, I figured out how to get sober before my guide did.
The heckler’s speech made perfect sense, so, I do have this information in my head and the capability of giving an articulate speech on that subject because it was my brain that produced it in the dream. But if somebody asked me to give a speech like this right now, I would not be able to do it because of my inhibitions, fears and defenses. In other words, it is a part of me that prevents me from performing effectively in accordance with the capacity which I apparently possess – or I could not have given the articulate speech when playing the part of the heckler.
I assume this is a universal problem and that many suffer from similar inhibitions due to fear caused by trauma in their own lives. So, the objective would be to face or confront your fears and work on them so that our true capacity can be released to achieve and perform.
In processing this dream, my brain is actually giving two speeches simultaneously; keeping an awareness of being in contact with the audience, plus, creating the dream itself. So, we are really capable of performing tasks on a higher level than we believe we can if we work on taking the tyrant’s power away. Our inhibitions and fears prevent us from performing at this higher capacity. This is why it is so important to listen to this negative side rather than trying to block it out. The demon must be confronted. And, make note of what is going on when these feelings of self-doubt and self-criticism arise, then take action to take the power back.
Freud and Jung both agreed that there was this type of character at play in the human subconscious.
This was the message from this dream.
By the way, I procrastinated doing the work on this dream, but I got it done. So, the tyrant lives, but he is getting weaker.
This section has been lifted from Donald Kalsched book “Trauma and the Soul” (pg 139) and contain some thoughts by Nietzsche and Carl Jung.
“When a summit of life is reached, when the bud unfolds and from the lesser the greater emerges, then Nietzsche says, “One becomes Two,” and the greater figure which one always was but which remained invisible appears to the lesser personality with the force of revelation. He who is truly and hopelessly little will always drag the revelation of the greater down to the level of his littleness, and will never understand that the Day of Judgment for his littleness has dawned. But the man (or woman) who is inwardly great will know that the long expected friend of the soul, the immortal one, has now really come, “to lead captivity captive,” (Ephesians 4:8); that is, to seize hold of him by whom this immortal had always been confined and held prisoner, and to make his life flow into that greater life.”
(Jung, 1939: para. 217, pg. 121) Jung, C.G. (1939) Concerning Rebirth, Collected Works 9/1 Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
Did you every notice how these guys like uniforms with lots of medals and large hats? In addition to forcing themselves to live in their own littleness, they demand the anything bigger than their own littleness be destroyed. My ex-boss was like that – plus he always wanted all of the glory, especially if he did not earn it.
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