PTSD Dissociation – Connecting Again on Another Planet

PTSD Dissociation dream is about the feeling of not being truly connected to the people around me. The feeling of not really fitting-in with other people. I became somewhat adapt of faking it, but in reality there was no true connection for the most part. This dream is about ‘transitional space’ opening up where I am will to take a risk at opening up to a woman who I came to know on the internet only. I used the term PTSD dissociation to combine the symptom of dissociation which can be directly related to PTSD, therefore just interpret PTSD dissociation to mean this combination.

The Dream:

Landing on Another Planet

I and a group of my friends (old college crowd) have landed or seem to be stranded on another planet. It is a desert type environment, but there is a lake or an ocean that I am standing on the shoreline. We are aware that there are some indigenous inhabitants but they are not seen when we first land, but we had seen them spread out as we approached the planet from our spaceship. I am just looking around at the body of water and studying the landscape. There are some mountains if you look straight down the lake and a hill or large sand dune if you look away from the lake.

dissociation ptsd Dream Meanings PTSD Dissociation

PTSD Dissociation

Suddenly, I notice I am alone, I see my one friend, Bill, heading up the sand dune by himself and I wished I was with him – he always knew where the adventure was; the rest of the group is ascending the mountains looking straight down the lake. I figured I must have been daydreaming or tuned out when everybody was making plans to leave – I had no recollection of them leaving, yet I was standing right there, they were just gone and I had a feeling of detachment (PTSD Dissociation). I felt like I had missed the boat for the adventures they would find, but at the same time felt a certain peace down by the sea shore. There were little waves gently washing the beachhead. My brother is with the group heading up the mountain, and I have a sense that I will catch up to them later. There is a group of wild horses running around the area between the beach and the sand dune. I am watching them, trying to figure out how to catch one of them.

PTSD Dissociation Dream Meanings PTSD Dissociation Dream Meanings

Trauma – PTSD

Then I noticed some of the indigenous people coming toward me from the opposite direction. At first, I see this is an opportunity to make contact with these inhabitants. I feel like I should tell them of our group and introduce ourselves. I hold up my hand to make a friendly gesture and suddenly realize that they are thugs and have no intention of being friendly. They proceed to beat me up – there are several direct punches to my face – and I do not blink – I see the fists come up directly to the point of contact. (One of the guys is the one who had the affair with my wife – white trash type with tattooed arm).

Prisoner of the Mind

Finally, they stop and take me prisoner. They take me into this underground facility with a metal door and modern stair case with black rubber flooring – standard in most industrial type settings. I am surprised they had such advanced trapping for such brutal beings. However, I am not watched and am free to go about, as if the beating were just some type of gang initiation. So, I just walk out of the underground facility through the door – nobody tries to stop me.

Transitional Space

Then somehow I am on the other side of this body of water – there is more brush and a little grass growing on this side of the water. I had noticed the horses running around again – there is a baby horse and I go near it and I pet it. The mother is standing close by so I back off to show that I had no ill intent. Then I am busy doing something bent over or kneeling – I am doing something with stones – building a fire pit, or Indian Medicine Wheel – maybe starting a fire in the circle – and was not paying attention to what is going on behind me.

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Connecting Again on Another Plane

Then I feel a friendly nudging on my back, it rubs up against me a few times to get my attention, when I turn around, it is the little pony I had made contact with. I assumed it now felt comfortable enough with my presence that it now came up to me. I am happy that it trusts me – the other horses are around but they are not concerned with the contact as if it “ok’ by them. I have a feeling of contentment, unification or connection with other beings again. THE END OF DREAM

Psychoanalytic Dream Interpretation: for PTSD Dissociation

Another Planet

The other planet is the internal mind or thought process that you keep to yourself, plus unconscious elements. Being traumatized in life – one becomes somewhat disassociated or the personality splits so that the person lives “in another world”. I am heading into this other world with some old friends from the real world. These were friends from college and my brother was also in the group. Because of recent events, the two worlds have come together and I have to re-merge parts of myself which I had dealt with in the past – but were split up again due to re-traumatization or PTSD Dissociation. (second divorce and career dissolving simultaneously). The dream starts out approaching…another planet – the “other planet” can, also, mean I am dealing with someone using the internet which I have never done before and it feels strange – I do not have any of the normal bearings of a relationship.

Vulnerability – Risk Necessary for Reconnecting

When one has consciously suffered enormous sadness or grief and one becomes “disillusioned” because the two worlds met and the consequences were ego shattering – there is a tendency to retreat to the inner world (other planet). The trip to the “other planet” is for the sake of re-experiencing having these two worlds come together again. A relationship is starting to develop with a woman named “Rachel” and I realize I have to face the risk of sacrificing my heart again. This is necessary in order to have a successful relationship -without this risk it is impossible to have an intimate relationship. But both planets must be bought together – the split personalities must reconnect. In a way the journey to the other planet is for “re-illusionment “ – so life can be returned to the spirit that was critically wounded on its last journey and the spirit will be returned to an “innocent” status where it can re-experience “love”.

Healing

The desert environment is one that lacks life – because the spirit had dried up. But there is a body of water there that allows for healing – or changing the desert back to a flowering place in the latter part of the dream. Also, wanting to catch a horse is a sign my spirit is returning. I am interested in pursuing Rachel and it had been quite a while since I had this feeling after the divorce.

PTSD Dissociation

Dissociation

The “old friends” are the world of innocence when we were just starting out seeking our way in life. But I was left behind and missed the boat. Having attention deficit disorder, a somewhat disassociated personality and using marijuana can have an effect on one’s ability to catch boats. This represents the feeling of suddenly noticing everybody had vanished and I was alone. Also, that old college crowd stayed on the East Coast and I moved to California – a different planet……

Primal Illusion

I thought the world was going to be a larger school environment where people would try to help you be the best or most successful person you could be if you showed talent and heart. This was a total illusion, the outside world was filled with greed, corruption and betrayals – by the people you trusted and thought were there to lead you and help you make your way – like bosses, who were the presidents of companies. One boss was a for real narcissist. These people were the “thugs” on the beach – along with the AA member who 13th stepped my wife when I sent her to meetings to overcome her reliance on drugs. The beating in the dream was brutal as was the treatment I received in life. Being taken “hostage” was most likely a self-imposed state which I retreated to – that seems safe (like staying in the same dysfunctional environment) – but in the dream this time – I have chosen to leave this underground bunker and live freely again.

The fact that the punches to the face were in slow motion and the connection was high definition depicts the devastating impact these events had on my psyche.

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Then, I am on the other side of the lake where some brush and grass is growing and the wild horses are running around. I make a friendly gesture to a little pony – trying not to scare the horses – and I get close enough to pet it but back away – afraid I will scare it. I am close to the water where healing can take place and I am bent over or kneeling working with stones or around stone pit. I was either making a fire or creating an Indian Medicine Wheel (I had taken a class about this a couple of months before dream). I am not paying attention to the horses – which is allowing for a healing space to open up – probably for both the pony and myself. Then the pony nudges me – she gives some hints that she wants to engage. The pony is Rachel the woman I have started a relationship with. The space is opening up for both of us to enter into a new relationship after we both have “suffered” through the loss of prior relationships.

Transformation

“Healing the split between these two worlds will mean a transformation of the self-care system so that the innocent parts of both Rachel and myself –long since banished to distant planets by psychological defenses – can be allowed or have the courage to face experience (love) again. Healing happens as a potential space – which has been closed off by passed traumatic experiences – is re-crated, inviting the lost hearts of both of us back into relationship.

PTSD Dissociation Dream Interpretation

I think she really is on another planet. I have not seen her on this one.

Still needs editing, but I am too tired to proof read this will have to happen tomorrow – this took a lot longer than I imagined.

Many of the ideas from this dream interpretation came from Donald Kalsched’s book, “The Inner World of Trauma” ‘Archetypal Defenses of the Personal Spirit’. Published by Routledge in 1996. This book is available in the Amazon Bookstore on this site. http://learntointerpretyourdreams.com/shop/

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Medicine wheel

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In some Native American cultures, the medicine wheel is a metaphor for a variety of spiritual concepts. A medicine wheel may also be a stone monument that illustrates this metaphor.

Historically, the monuments were constructed by laying stones in a particular pattern on the ground oriented to the four directions. Most medicine wheels follow the basic pattern of having a center of stone, and surrounding that is an outer ring of stones with “spokes” (lines of rocks) radiating from the center to the cardinal directions (East, South, West and North). These stone structures may or may not be called “medicine wheels” by the people whose ancestors built them, but may be called by more specific terms in that nation’s language.

Physical medicine wheels made of stone have been constructed by several different Indigenous peoples in North America, especially those of the Plains nations. They are associated with religious ceremonies. As a metaphor, they may be used in healing work or to illustrate other cultural concepts.

The medicine wheel has been adopted as a symbol by a number of pan-Indian groups, or other Native groups whose ancestors did not traditionally use it as a symbol or structure. It has also been appropriated by non-Indigenous people, usually those associated with the hippie, New Age or Neopagan communities

Dissociation - Medicine Wheel

The Medicine Wheel in Bighorn National Forest, Wyoming, USA

Dissociation PTSD

Relation to trauma and abuse

This definition is for the word ‘Dissociation’, however, I have added the PTSD Dissociation in several places to make it clear the I am talking about PTSD Dissociation.

From Wikipedia

Dissociation has been described as one of a constellation of symptoms experienced by some victims of multiple forms of childhood trauma, including physical, psychological, and sexual abuse.[27][28] This is supported by studies which suggest that dissociation is correlated with a history of trauma.[29] Dissociation appears to have a high specificity and a low sensitivity to having a self-reported history of trauma, which means that dissociation is much more common among those who are traumatized, yet at the same time there are many persons who have suffered from trauma but who do not show dissociative symptoms.[30]

Adult dissociation (or PTSD Dissociation) when combined with a history of child abuse and otherwise interpersonal violence-related posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has been shown to contribute to disturbances in parenting behavior, such as exposure of young children to violent media. Such behavior may contribute to cycles of familial violence and trauma.[31]

Symptoms of PTSD dissociation resulting from trauma may include depersonalization, psychological numbing, disengagement, or amnesia regarding the events of the abuse. It has been hypothesized that dissociation may provide a temporarily effective defense mechanism in cases of severe trauma; however, in the long term, PTSD dissociation is associated with decreased psychological functioning and adjustment.[28] Other symptoms sometimes found along with dissociation in victims of traumatic abuse (often referred to as “sequelae to abuse”) include anxiety, PTSD, low self-esteem, somatization, depression, chronic pain, interpersonal dysfunction, substance abuse, self-harm and suicidal ideation or actions.[27][28][32] These symptoms may lead the victim to present the symptoms as the source of the problem.[27]

Child abuse, especially chronic abuse starting at early ages, has been related to high levels of dissociative symptoms in a clinical sample,[33] including amnesia for abuse memories.[34] A non-clinical sample of adult women linked increased levels of PTSD dissociation to sexual abuse by a significantly older person prior to age 15,[35] and dissociation has also been correlated with a history of childhood physical and sexual abuse.[36] When sexual abuse is examined, the levels of dissociation were found to increase along with the severity of the abuse.[37]

A 2012 review article supports the hypothesis that current or recent trauma may affect an individual’s assessment of the more distant past, changing the experience of the past and resulting in dissociative states.[38] (or PTSD Dissociation)